I got to smile, laugh and feel. That was enough to get me through today. The kind, sweet nothing, no promises, the idea of nothing... sigh... who am I kidding... I'm hooked with nothingness... Trying to control it but it slipped somehow... I'm hooked to it like a junkie.
On the other hand, I have this promises of something, but like other promises, they're just promises. It didn't make me feel like nothing did. And I'm not making sense to even myself. I just want to drift on in nothingness and that's bad. Coz nothingness cant get me anywhere. Something can but I want nothing. But this feeling for nothing feels so good right now. I'm hanging on to it for awhile, until the time comes to let go.
Now, the Eve of 2011. I'm with new resolution, which is "AIM FOR NOTHING, STRIVE FOR SOMETHING". Same road, different path. Same song, different lyrics. Same beach, different shore. Same person, different attitude. Heck it fits well. It feels good.
This is the start of something new. I know it. I feel it. Like Dean, I went to hell and back. Like Sam, been in the hole and out. Doesn't matter who pulled out whom. The angel or the devil. Same outside, different inside. Its either make or break. Do or don't. Black or white. No more grey.