Sunday, February 27, 2011

Clean Slate

Last nite, me and my husband had a long talk. About what happened and all the shit we all been through. It was funny. The thing is, my husband and I had always been friends in all aspects where we can talk about everything, good or bad, happy or sad.

He said he made a mistake. Big mistake. Getting involved with a psychopath in the first place. Never met a crazier person. He said he's lucky to wake up at this early stage before he's ruined by this psycho. And he swore not to repeat. Once is enough. He's much much happier now. Enough sleep, no more running around, no headache, no lies, and most importantly, money intact in his wallet. He regretted the times he spent away, couldn't remember lots of things, couldn't focus on his jobs, watching himself going downward fast. Now that he got rid of the garbage in his life, he feels lighter and can think clearer. The things he recalls made him flinch. He didn't know whatta hell he was doing or thinking. Putting me through all that shit was the lowest point, having me clean up all the mess.... and lots of other things he said that made me feel happy that he said those things about other person, not me.

Those were his words. I'm glad he said it. I sure as hell don't want anybody to say that about me. To have another person have that kind of thinking, let alone say it out loud, is so degrading. Maybe to someone with no self-respect it doesn't matter but me, if someone said those things about me, I'd be too ashamed to look myself in the mirror.

Well, since it's not about me, what do I care?

Anyway, the trip is on. WE'RE GOING TO GUANGZHOU, CHINA!!! I'm going back to the land where I spent so much time in my school years studying. This ought to be interesting. We're taking the first step for my business. I'm so looking forward for this trip. This marks the new beginning. A new slate. Throw away the garbage and start fresh.

The best thing about this trip is, the preparations to keep me busy. Getting our lives back on track is the most gratifying thing. Going to bed exhausted every night is satisfying. Having rid of the garbage... priceless.

Somebody said to me something the other day about trust. I'm still having trust issues. They gave me sound advise and share their experience and knowledge on the matter and I am ever so thankful for having friends like them. I'm taking what they said to heart hoping someday this nightmare would be over. I believe in karma. You always get what you give. There's always rainbow after the storm.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Just A Fairy Tale of Princess Wannabe

This is a story of a pauper who dreams to be a princess.

Not so long ago, in a land not so far away, there was a pauper whose dream was to get out of her miserable poor life. She wasn't extraordinarily pretty but what she lacked, she made up by using her other means to lure men into her trap. The trapped men would do whatever she told them to do and unknowingly willing to give her whatever she wanted. She wanted an easy life, the easy way by having someone supporting her every needs.

The pauper, let us call her Wannabe, had an illness that required lots of money, which her family couldn't really afford. So Wannabe resorted to look for rich men, no matter the status or age, to support her medical condition and lifestyle. 

One day, she met this guy, who happened to be a king, thus the fairy tale started. Wannabe saw the potential of happily ever after in her little fairy tale. And so did the mother.

The king, we just call him King, lived in a little kingdom with his queen and little prince and princess. King was not really rich but they lived comfortably and happily together. 

Wannabe, knowing that King already had a family, didn't care. She saw how easy her life would be if she could just get King to herself. She used whatever she had and whatever ways she knew how, to trap King into submitting. 

During the course of their courtship, Wannabe was lavished with gifts, eating fine food, going to places she never went to. Wannabe started to lay out her so-called best laid plan. She wanted more. She made King fell head over heels in love with her, succumb to her every whims, but Wannabe knew that as long as Queen was still in the picture, she couldn't get control of the kingdom. 

She played out every tricks. The victim, the whiny, the illness and so on. And the magic. The magic really kinked the deal. What Wannabe didn't know, or expect, was there was no way Queen would let her take over just that easily. Using magic wouldn't get a person wholly. It would screw up one way or another for magic can only give the shadow of a person. The person could be woken up.

When Wannabe saw that her magic didn't really get her what she wanted as fast as she wanted, and her magic didn't do as she wanted and that was to get Queen out of the way, she resorted to become King's concubine. That was the lowest any woman can go. Pathetic, really.

But what Wannabe didn't expect was how strong King's love for Queen. It was that love that saved him. It was that love that woke him up and see Wannabe as she really was. Nothing but a family wrecker and a gold-digger. 

King wanted to get Wannabe out of his life. He asked Queen for forgiveness and asked for help. Queen helped him with every ways she knew how, with the help of other friends of theirs. King was happy and grateful to be out of Wannabe's clutch and now couldn't wait to get her totally out of his life. Slowly King and Queen did it, together, as the team they had always been.

Wannabe was not giving up. She was still trying to hold on to the last gift King gave her. She knew if she lost that gift, she would be more of a laughingstock than she already was. She was not giving up the luxury that she just got the taste of. She couldn't afford the luxury, but she wanted it. So badly that she tried using more magic. 

She should realize by now that no amount of magic can break the power of pure love. She should realize that the magic she use was finally taken its toll on her. She should realize it wouldn't get her what she wanted without eating her back. She should realize that she was exhausting herself, making her miserable where else King and Queen was living happily as they were. She should realize that she should just get out of their lives quietly if she didn't want any trouble for herself. She should realize that Queen was holding the ultimate card to destroy her life. A picture spoke a thousand words, just imagine what 5 pictures would do?

Somebody should slap Wannabe out of her stupidity. Get on with the program, Wannabe. Get your own life. Stop disturbing others. If she doesn't stop, she will get the picture soon enough. 

Better go now before you're made to go. Go quietly and your life will be intact. Stop fighting the inevitable, you can never win. Go now before it gets worse for you. ....just saying. You can't get the fairytale you want. It's called a fairytale for a reason. Stop being an idiot and face up to reality. There's no such thing as an easy life. The hardships are what made a character. Right now you have none.