Clean Slate

Last nite, me and my husband had a long talk. About what happened and all the shit we all been through. It was funny. The thing is, my husband and I had always been friends in all aspects where we can talk about everything, good or bad, happy or sad.


He said he made a mistake. Big mistake. Getting involved with a psychopath in the first place. Never met a crazier person. He said he's lucky to wake up at this early stage before he's ruined by this psycho. And he swore not to repeat. Once is enough. He's much much happier now. Enough sleep, no more running around, no headache, no lies, and most importantly, money intact in his wallet. He regretted the times he spent away, couldn't remember lots of things, couldn't focus on his jobs, watching himself going downward fast. Now that he got rid of the garbage in his life, he feels lighter and can think clearer. The things he recalls made him flinch. He didn't know whatta hell he was doing or thinking. Putting me through all that shit was the lowest point, having me clean up all the mess.... and lots of other things he said that made me feel happy that he said those things about other person, not me.


Those were his words. I'm glad he said it. I sure as hell don't want anybody to say that about me. To have another person have that kind of thinking, let alone say it out loud, is so degrading. Maybe to someone with no self-respect it doesn't matter but me, if someone said those things about me, I'd be too ashamed to look myself in the mirror.


Well, since it's not about me, what do I care?


Anyway, the trip is on. WE'RE GOING TO GUANGZHOU, CHINA!!! I'm going back to the land where I spent so much time in my school years studying. This ought to be interesting. We're taking the first step for my business. I'm so looking forward for this trip. This marks the new beginning. A new slate. Throw away the garbage and start fresh.


The best thing about this trip is, the preparations to keep me busy. Getting our lives back on track is the most gratifying thing. Going to bed exhausted every night is satisfying. Having rid of the garbage... priceless.


Somebody said to me something the other day about trust. I'm still having trust issues. They gave me sound advise and share their experience and knowledge on the matter and I am ever so thankful for having friends like them. I'm taking what they said to heart hoping someday this nightmare would be over. I believe in karma. You always get what you give. There's always rainbow after the storm.