Sunday, January 23, 2011

W - Can Stand for Many Things

I know you're reading this. This is for you.

Give up. Stop playing games. There's no such thing as shortcuts. I know you don't care about the consequences as long as you get what you think you want. You're that shallow of a person. Resorting to this kind of tricks just shows how low you are. Grow up. Things earned this way won't last and the sooner you learn, the better. The games you're playing will only bite you in the ass. 

We were taught from young the way to point to people the polite way. Well, there's a reason for that, and I'll tell you why coz I don't think anybody ever told you the reason. Or maybe they did and you're too dumb to understand.

The thumb pointing out, is the thing you strike out. The four fingers pointing back, is the things that'll come to haunt you. There, I said it in the simplest way even you can understand. 

You think I'll just sit around watching you play your little games? Well, think again, darling. The more you play, the further your subject will go from you. I'll make sure of that. Your dirty tricks are known so all the whining and reverse psych won't work anymore. You'll end up with so much pent up fury that you'll burst. And I will be there with a tub of popcorn to see it happen. Heck, I already booked the front seat.

I said it once and I'll say it again. Don't start it with me. You don't want to play this game with me. How much lower can you put yourself? You're already at the lowest point with no more self respect. This is what lowlifes resort to. Damn. If I were you, I'll dig a hole now and bury myself and save the trouble for everyone else. 

Go. Find someone else to bother. We're done with you. You're nothing now. Don't even bother pulling the sympathy card. You're that irritating. Pathetic even. Look at yourself in the mirror someday, really look, and you'll see the little witch you really are. The face we all see. The real little varmint. I'd really love to clobber you one day.

It's done. There's no more you can do that can change the fact that you're hated. People here can't stand you anymore. You're just too stupid to admit. Stop being in denial. The sooner you accept the fact, the easier this will be. Choose, darling, the easy way out or the hard way. Either way, I'll lead you to it. Your call.

Told you once. You don't want to have a taste of my wrath. This is nothing compare to what I'm really capable of. Try, and you'll see. Take it as a threat if you want. I don't care. Do it one more time and you'll get the 4 strikes from me, delivered personally. Go play and bother someone else. Bother me again and I'll make sure I have that tombstone carved with your name on it. 

Want to know how serious I am? Then go ahead and try.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Title : Undecided

It's been a few days since I last recorded anything. Too much on my mind right now. Even my notes were blank.

I went to a workshop that day. Pumped up with new motivations. I have a clearer view on what I want to do next. 

Maybe I was pumped with new ideas, or maybe it was just all the coffee I ingested, or maybe I was just excited about the package delivered. Whatever the reason, I had a great time. Made new friends, new ideas, new experiences. 

Whatever I was feeling that day, it was all good. Even when the dark clouds threatening to come and spoil it, I still had a good time. I felt like I could handle anything. Maybe I could.

It was kinda weird. Whatever it was that happened, it made the next day seemed weirder. I had this funny feeling, like I'm supposed to be doing something but not caring anymore. Just taking in whatever comes my way a little at a time. Once I decided to take matters in my own hand, things unravel by itself.

I realized when I stopped caring, things happen on its own. The things that's been sent my way, I can handle them. All I need is a little push. Sometimes I do feel like I'm failing some sort of tests... but, I don't care anymore. 

I now have new purpose. I'm given the opportunity to move forward. It's up to me to take it. I'm going to take it. I'm not going to sit around and wait for something to happen anymore. I'll just take whatever comes my way and deal with the consequences later. I feel bad sometimes, for being selfish, but I have to. Otherwise I'll be the same as before.

New things learned, new friends made, new experiences gained. Not all bad, but not all good either. Life is about learning. Everything has a lesson to be learned. Things happen for a reason. It's either you're conscious enough to notice or not.

I know some things don't last, but I'll take whatever that's happening now. Not thinking too much takes me to a better place. I'm having a wonderful time, looking at stupid people doing stupid things, including me. I was mad at first, but now, it seems funny. 

Someone said some things to me recently that made me think. They made me realized a few things I overlooked. I've been too focus on things I shouldn't that I forgot that there are things I should do. 

No matter. It's still not too late. But why do I feel like I'm on some kind of dateline?

Miley Cyrus Goodbye

Bon Jovi - Letting you go

Wednesday, January 12, 2011


Yes. We all have 'em. Big, small, earth shattering or just ...nothing.

I used to hate secrets. Hate having them, hate being told one. Now not anymore. Maybe because I have my own? I don't know. Right now, I don't really care what people think. I have my reasons for keeping things locked inside. It doesn't really matter why. Mostly, I have them to protect myself.

Don't you just hate it being in the same room with someone who has tons of them. And you quietly trying to second guess everything? It's tiring. But then again, it's much more tiring for the person who's keeping them. 

Having secrets means you have to lie to protect 'em from being known. Having secrets is fun. Up to a point. Telling lies, however, is not. Not to the person who's being lied to. If it doesn't hurt anyone, then fine. But most importantly, if you want to have secrets, make sure you don't burn or get burned too much.

Having secrets is like playing with matches. How many strokes, how big is the flame you planning to light. No matter how big or small your intended fire you want to have, you'll feel the flame, you'll still get burned. Then, at some point, when you can't handle the flame on the match, you'll start looking for things to burn. You'll look for wood. Then somebody comes along and pour some gas on it and it would be out of control. Then the next thing you know, you'll be on fire.

Secrets, lies, flames and torches. They're all connected.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

P!nk - I Don't Believe You

James Blunt - Goodbye My Lover [OFFICIAL VIDEO]

James Blunt - 'So Far Gone' [OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO]

Fighters Club... Where Enemies Can Be Good Friends

It's been more than a year, longer I think, since I last played FC. I made really good friends on the apps. That was the only apps I played on FB at that time coz it took all my days and nights - fighting to loot some fake money and maintaining BOSS. LOL. Maintaining 15 SC is all that mattered. If you're strong enough, you'll get to F100. *sigh*. Those were the days. 

I miss the nights I stayed online, anxiously waiting for the end time for the Jumpers to jump in and Snipers sniping away. Win or lose, didn't really matter. What mattered was seeing your friends on your side. 

Come weekend, support fights are welcomed to block any unnecessary attacks. 

Tho there were some people who took this game seriously. Mean words were said. Revenge for lost fights. Gangs honor and loyalty. Funny as hell. Before all the loadings and kids playing the game, it was fun. Just friendly fights between friends, funny words as fightlines. I miss those days. Friends I made during that time still remain in my list. 

Whatever it is, stressful as it is trying to support all fights on the pages, real life is more tiring. I don't have an end time. I don't have SC to maintain. I don't have jumpers and snipers to call for help. And I don't get a single cent even if I win.

*sigh*... I really miss FC....

In, Out and All About

In the chain of events of the happenings for the past week, I learned alot. I learned what I've been missing, I learned about people, I learned about me.

It took me awhile to admit, but I've been missing alot of things.

I miss the excitement, I miss the anticipation, I miss the adrenaline rush. I miss the feelings. I miss being treated right. 

All I've been doing is trying to do the right thing. Now that I learn to let go, it feels good. The not caring is the best way right now, for me. It may not be the right way, but who cares? 

I've been in a box for so long. Inside, looking out. Now that I put myself out of the box, the view is great. Looking back into the box, I wonder how the hell could I have been contented inside. I forgot what it was like before I got into the box. The box may seems big and comfortable, but it is unstable. 

But being outside once again, I need to face the other stuff that associate with it. Some ugly, some beautiful. Unlike before, I'm more prepared this time. Now all I need is for the brick road to appear. It may not come as I remembered, but a road is still a road. Bumps are still bumps. Somehow they don't seem so scary anymore.

In the past week, I learned that you cannot trust somebody fully. No matter how sweet the words sound, they're just that : words. They even have a song for it.

Doesn't matter. What matters right now is I'm fine with myself. I'm content with what I'm doing. I may be tired but I know by the end of the day, I can go to bed smiling and with better attitude to face whatever may come. Everyday is a new day. New things to learn, new things to face, new stuff to consider. New possibility to conquer.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

YouTube + Twitter + Facebook = YouTwitFace lmao

Hah! I wish there's an apps with that name. We can just type a name in the search box and we can see the Twitfaces we know. I can definitely name a few.

I am in a pissing mood. Waiting for some twitfaces to make my day, or night. So far none of the responds I get are entertaining. I am still pissed. I still feel like clubbing things. The only problem is I don't own a club.

I need to get out. But where to go? I've laid out the plans. Now waiting to be executed. But the waiting part is no fun. I need the adrenaline rush. What I'm doing now slows my heartbeat and I don't like it. No fun. I need the action. I need the rush. Games no longer hold their charm. I need real-life action. I'm tired of waiting around. I need action. Now.

But seriously. Being in pissed mood really no fun. I'm going to go out and get the antidote. And I know just where to get it :).

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Black Vs White

Black is sleek and fast. White is slow and steady. Black can't last. White is eternity.
Black is hell. White is heaven. Black is gloom and doom. White is merry and cheer. 

That's why I love snow. Even at the darkest hour, the snow gleams and put the gloom out.

There's a reason why nights seems more enticing. It lures the worst out of the best of men. Coz at nights, people can't see clearly. They only see what they want to see, get what they want to get. Do what they want to do. 

But there's a limit to nights. Come dawn and day break, everything comes to light. No matter how many lights trying to chase away the shadows, they are still there. Shadows lurking on every corner. Darkness looms. Waiting for the unexpected to embrace.

Neon lights hide the truth. The uglies become the beauties, people seems masked by shadows. Those who are not strong enough will be swallowed by the magic of darkness.

Where else, during the day, once the sun starts climbing out of the horizon, the shadows retreat. Come high noon, the shadows are gone underneath the feet. The uglies remain ugly. People see things as they are. 

Back to black and white. It's clear cut. Black is bleak. White shines. Even though some nights are longer than days, in the end, the sun still covers the moon.

I choose the sun, the day and the white. Others can stay gloomy all their lives in the dark. I'm happy. Are you?