Title : Undecided

It's been a few days since I last recorded anything. Too much on my mind right now. Even my notes were blank.


I went to a workshop that day. Pumped up with new motivations. I have a clearer view on what I want to do next. 


Maybe I was pumped with new ideas, or maybe it was just all the coffee I ingested, or maybe I was just excited about the package delivered. Whatever the reason, I had a great time. Made new friends, new ideas, new experiences. 


Whatever I was feeling that day, it was all good. Even when the dark clouds threatening to come and spoil it, I still had a good time. I felt like I could handle anything. Maybe I could.


It was kinda weird. Whatever it was that happened, it made the next day seemed weirder. I had this funny feeling, like I'm supposed to be doing something but not caring anymore. Just taking in whatever comes my way a little at a time. Once I decided to take matters in my own hand, things unravel by itself.


I realized when I stopped caring, things happen on its own. The things that's been sent my way, I can handle them. All I need is a little push. Sometimes I do feel like I'm failing some sort of tests... but, I don't care anymore. 

I now have new purpose. I'm given the opportunity to move forward. It's up to me to take it. I'm going to take it. I'm not going to sit around and wait for something to happen anymore. I'll just take whatever comes my way and deal with the consequences later. I feel bad sometimes, for being selfish, but I have to. Otherwise I'll be the same as before.

New things learned, new friends made, new experiences gained. Not all bad, but not all good either. Life is about learning. Everything has a lesson to be learned. Things happen for a reason. It's either you're conscious enough to notice or not.

I know some things don't last, but I'll take whatever that's happening now. Not thinking too much takes me to a better place. I'm having a wonderful time, looking at stupid people doing stupid things, including me. I was mad at first, but now, it seems funny. 

Someone said some things to me recently that made me think. They made me realized a few things I overlooked. I've been too focus on things I shouldn't that I forgot that there are things I should do. 


No matter. It's still not too late. But why do I feel like I'm on some kind of dateline?